The Me MeMe
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
The Foot Book
2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
The Cunningham's on Happy Days
3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep?
30+ hours?
4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song?
Ready to take a chance again
5. Who's your favorite Muppet?
Kermit
6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?
I like to keep all my habits!
7. What's your favorite website?
Google Reader
8. What's your favorite school supply?
I don't go to school, but I work, so I'd have to say my black gel pen!
9. Who's your favorite TV attorney?
Abbie Carmichael (Law & Order - played by Angie Harmon)
10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
Connecticut for a buffet
11. What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or junk shop?
I don't remember - we don't go to them often.
12. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
Signing the papers on the house we just bought.
13. What's your favorite tree?
Anything where the leaves don't fall.
14. What's the most interesting biography you've read?
I'm not a big biography reader.
15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
Chicken fingers, pork fried rice, chicken soup, teriaki, sometimes boneless spareribs
16. What's the best costume you've ever worn?
I won second prize at the company party when I was dressed as a waffle!
17. What is your least favorite word?
Crotch
18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
(North or South) Dakota
19. Who's your favorite bear?
Yogi Bear
20. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Spider crawled into my ear
21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be?
I'd go with Dave to help Africa
22. What did you have for lunch yesterday?
Tuna sandwich and baked Doritos
23. Where do you go for advice?
my friend Nancy
24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
Thesaurus
25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving?
Nope
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Just 'cuz - and oh boy is it a jumbled mess!
A friend of mine asked me at lunch on Thursday if I was sad. Before I could answer she then asked if I was just "thinking." I jumped on that option and said "just thinking" and left it at that.
But you know what? I am sad. I'd like to say that I don't know the reason for my sadness, but I do. Actually, I should say reasonS for my sadness.
I am basically a lazy person. Yes, I get up nearly every day and go to work, but that's out of necessity. If someone said to me "stay home", I would. Well, at least until the money ran out and we were living on the streets. LOL I do not like to exercise - let me correct that - I HATE exercising. I would rather sit and read a good book, or noodle around on the internet. I've said before and I'll say it again - I'm a TV addict. I wish it wasn't so - kind of - but I also like watching things that take my mind off of my own thoughts and feelings.
I'm sad that I don't like to exercise because I know that exercise supposedly makes you feel better and also gets you fit (naturally), but I just don't even want to. I'm sad that I can talk in my head all I want that I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy, I want to be thinner...but, apparently I'm not willing to do the work to get it. I want to wake up and have the mindset of someone that hasn't the psychological issues I have. I want to be "normal."
A friend of mine has a daughter who is not as healthy and trim as she would like. Her other daughter is a bean pole, but not the other one. I told her that under no circumstances should she say the following phrases to her child:
"Don't worry, I'll tell you when you are too heavy."
"You aren't fat, you are pleasingly plump."
"I'm going to call you Crisco - you know, fat in the can."
"You have good understanding - you know, sturdy legs."
I heard one or more of those phrases pretty much on a daily basis while growing up. I can certainly sympathize with my friend that she's worried about her daughter. She loves her and wants her to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. I told her the best to do is just keep minimal 'good' snacks in the house...like junk food...but don't ban them all together because that's not showing her how to handle the life choices that come to pass as we get older.
Bottom line - you cut down on what you eat, eat healthier things and exercise and you will lose weight and end up fit and trim. What is so difficult about this equation? Why can't I wrap my mind around that and just do it? Food has always been a comfort to me. I had a relatively good shape until my father died and then I got pregnant two months later. Since I wasn't with the "father" aka sperm donor. I wasn't working and sat at home and ate because I was sad, because I was mad, because I thought my Dad would've been mad at me and because I was living with my mother, again, even though shortly before my father died, they had separated - life was good for those 7 weeks. My Dad left us a note a couple weeks into his separated life (before he headed in to work) and wrote "today is the first day of the rest of my life"...I see or hear that phrase and it instantly takes me back to that time. I think of what my Dad never got to do, got to see, got to meet. A part of me is relieved that he didn't have to go through the pain and aggravation of every day life, but boy, do I miss that man.
I would love for him to have met my kids...especially my oldest. He is SOOO much like him. I'd like to think that he is "looking down on us" and he's "seen my kids" but I don't think that is something I believe in any more. I used to and maybe if Dad had been around, I'd still believe.
I've been working since I was 14. I'm now 45. 34 years. In the grand scheme of things and when compared with other people, that is not a long time. But, to me, it's a long time. From 1985 until 1995 I was a single mother and had to work if I wanted to get anywhere in life. I've been at my job now for more than 21 years. I love my boss, he's easy to get along with and he's smart as anything - and his office is in another state. It's easy to have a great relationship with a boss who is a 2 1/2 hour drive away. I do, however, think that we would get along fine if I were in his office or vice versa. I would love to not have to work. Not like "oh, take a week off" type of thing, but just knowing that there is nothing I need to get up at 4 a.m. for and hurry out the door to get to work for 6 a.m. I've often said that if I took 2 weeks off in a row, I think I'd end up quitting because that is just too long a time to get used to not getting up and leaving the house. But, my mind knows that I have to work because otherwise we'd be in the poor house. But that doesn't stop me from looking at condo's in Myrtle Beach or down in FL - even if they are like 500 square feet. I don't care. It would mean that I could relax, for the first time in 34 years.
I keep a lot to myself. Someone will ask me how I am doing and I say that I am fine. Do you know why I say I'm fine? So I don't have to listen to "helpful" advice on how to make myself feel better. My brain is not wired that way. I have an extremely cheerful, fun personality on the outside...what is on the inside is a different story. I have thoughts in my head that I can't say because they would hurt someone or they would get someone angry - not anyone in particular, but just someone. So, it stays inside. I go to a shrink...he says "how are things?" You know what I say "things are fine." I am on two types of psych medication to help me not go in to the depths of despair and doing the work that I do, I see some people on disability who take way less psych drugs than I do! How can that be, I ask myself? I just want to say to them, 'buck up asshole, get to work because if I can do it with my highest dosage of medications available, so can you.' Yet some people abuse the system that way. They "think" they are disabled. They are not. Oh sure there are some legitimate people with legitimate issues and maybe I have become cynical over time, but it just galls me the way people take advantage of the "system." What makes me even sadder is that I asked my shrink if he ever saw me not having to take medicine since I had read about people that stopped taking it and did fine. He said no that he does not see me not taking medication to help me get through the day. That made me sad.
And before my husband reads this and starts to assume things...this is not about him...he has 2 fake hips and a fake knee and he does more for this house than anyone I know. He can't do things he'd like to do, but he does the best he can and I do love him for trying to do everything!
so, after just this rambling crap above, the bottom line is that I am sad. I am fat. I hate to be fat. Apparently I hate to exercise or diet more than I hate to be fat. I wonder if the kids or Joe are embarrassed because I am fat. I know I am. I want to wake up with someone else's willpower - why can't I?
Just random thoughts over the course of a couple of days...bottom line = I don't like myself.
But you know what? I am sad. I'd like to say that I don't know the reason for my sadness, but I do. Actually, I should say reasonS for my sadness.
I am basically a lazy person. Yes, I get up nearly every day and go to work, but that's out of necessity. If someone said to me "stay home", I would. Well, at least until the money ran out and we were living on the streets. LOL I do not like to exercise - let me correct that - I HATE exercising. I would rather sit and read a good book, or noodle around on the internet. I've said before and I'll say it again - I'm a TV addict. I wish it wasn't so - kind of - but I also like watching things that take my mind off of my own thoughts and feelings.
I'm sad that I don't like to exercise because I know that exercise supposedly makes you feel better and also gets you fit (naturally), but I just don't even want to. I'm sad that I can talk in my head all I want that I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy, I want to be thinner...but, apparently I'm not willing to do the work to get it. I want to wake up and have the mindset of someone that hasn't the psychological issues I have. I want to be "normal."
A friend of mine has a daughter who is not as healthy and trim as she would like. Her other daughter is a bean pole, but not the other one. I told her that under no circumstances should she say the following phrases to her child:
"Don't worry, I'll tell you when you are too heavy."
"You aren't fat, you are pleasingly plump."
"I'm going to call you Crisco - you know, fat in the can."
"You have good understanding - you know, sturdy legs."
I heard one or more of those phrases pretty much on a daily basis while growing up. I can certainly sympathize with my friend that she's worried about her daughter. She loves her and wants her to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. I told her the best to do is just keep minimal 'good' snacks in the house...like junk food...but don't ban them all together because that's not showing her how to handle the life choices that come to pass as we get older.
Bottom line - you cut down on what you eat, eat healthier things and exercise and you will lose weight and end up fit and trim. What is so difficult about this equation? Why can't I wrap my mind around that and just do it? Food has always been a comfort to me. I had a relatively good shape until my father died and then I got pregnant two months later. Since I wasn't with the "father" aka sperm donor. I wasn't working and sat at home and ate because I was sad, because I was mad, because I thought my Dad would've been mad at me and because I was living with my mother, again, even though shortly before my father died, they had separated - life was good for those 7 weeks. My Dad left us a note a couple weeks into his separated life (before he headed in to work) and wrote "today is the first day of the rest of my life"...I see or hear that phrase and it instantly takes me back to that time. I think of what my Dad never got to do, got to see, got to meet. A part of me is relieved that he didn't have to go through the pain and aggravation of every day life, but boy, do I miss that man.
I would love for him to have met my kids...especially my oldest. He is SOOO much like him. I'd like to think that he is "looking down on us" and he's "seen my kids" but I don't think that is something I believe in any more. I used to and maybe if Dad had been around, I'd still believe.
I've been working since I was 14. I'm now 45. 34 years. In the grand scheme of things and when compared with other people, that is not a long time. But, to me, it's a long time. From 1985 until 1995 I was a single mother and had to work if I wanted to get anywhere in life. I've been at my job now for more than 21 years. I love my boss, he's easy to get along with and he's smart as anything - and his office is in another state. It's easy to have a great relationship with a boss who is a 2 1/2 hour drive away. I do, however, think that we would get along fine if I were in his office or vice versa. I would love to not have to work. Not like "oh, take a week off" type of thing, but just knowing that there is nothing I need to get up at 4 a.m. for and hurry out the door to get to work for 6 a.m. I've often said that if I took 2 weeks off in a row, I think I'd end up quitting because that is just too long a time to get used to not getting up and leaving the house. But, my mind knows that I have to work because otherwise we'd be in the poor house. But that doesn't stop me from looking at condo's in Myrtle Beach or down in FL - even if they are like 500 square feet. I don't care. It would mean that I could relax, for the first time in 34 years.
I keep a lot to myself. Someone will ask me how I am doing and I say that I am fine. Do you know why I say I'm fine? So I don't have to listen to "helpful" advice on how to make myself feel better. My brain is not wired that way. I have an extremely cheerful, fun personality on the outside...what is on the inside is a different story. I have thoughts in my head that I can't say because they would hurt someone or they would get someone angry - not anyone in particular, but just someone. So, it stays inside. I go to a shrink...he says "how are things?" You know what I say "things are fine." I am on two types of psych medication to help me not go in to the depths of despair and doing the work that I do, I see some people on disability who take way less psych drugs than I do! How can that be, I ask myself? I just want to say to them, 'buck up asshole, get to work because if I can do it with my highest dosage of medications available, so can you.' Yet some people abuse the system that way. They "think" they are disabled. They are not. Oh sure there are some legitimate people with legitimate issues and maybe I have become cynical over time, but it just galls me the way people take advantage of the "system." What makes me even sadder is that I asked my shrink if he ever saw me not having to take medicine since I had read about people that stopped taking it and did fine. He said no that he does not see me not taking medication to help me get through the day. That made me sad.
And before my husband reads this and starts to assume things...this is not about him...he has 2 fake hips and a fake knee and he does more for this house than anyone I know. He can't do things he'd like to do, but he does the best he can and I do love him for trying to do everything!
so, after just this rambling crap above, the bottom line is that I am sad. I am fat. I hate to be fat. Apparently I hate to exercise or diet more than I hate to be fat. I wonder if the kids or Joe are embarrassed because I am fat. I know I am. I want to wake up with someone else's willpower - why can't I?
Just random thoughts over the course of a couple of days...bottom line = I don't like myself.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Day 30: Whomever you find most attractive in this world
In "this" world? As opposed to...? hahaha Needless to say I will go with my own husband - why else would I want to be with him? He's funny, smart, gentle, kind and has happy eyes and a smile that is awesome. :) Here he is most recently with our oldest son. :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Day 29: Somewhere you want to visit
I'm thinking if the trip wasn't so long that Australia would be nice, but I think that's more for the accents than the country. :) But, I've wanted to take a cruise to Bermuda for a long time, so I'll go with Bermuda.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Thief Strikes Again
Another meme - thanks to Cal!
TV Meme - Like Anyone Cares (I care Cal!)
Pick five of your favorite shows, in no particular order, before you read the below questions, then answer them!
1. Prison Break
2. Boomtown
3. Modern Family
4. Friends
5. Criminal Minds
01. Who's your favorite character in 2?
Detective Joel Stevens, played by Donnie Wahlberg.
02. Who's your least favorite character in 1?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell. YIKES! This had to be one of the best rolls of this guy's career (Robert Knepper) because he scared the bejeezus out of me!
03. What's your favorite episode of 4?
The one where Monica tries to make Chandler laugh by putting a turkey on her head. Hysterical! Check out the look on Joey's face when he sees that. I laugh just sitting here thinking of it!
04. What's your favorite season of 5?
Hmmm...I am not a big fan of Mandy Patinkin, so I'll go with the first season that had Joe Montegna as Dave Rossi, season 3.
05. Who is your favorite ship in 1?
Um, don't think there is a ship in #1?
06. Who is your anti-ship in 2?
I'll go with the police car? LOL
07. How long have you watched 1?
Every season, every episode...EXCEPT the DVD 2 hour "bridge" episode which shows what happened between the next to the last episode and the last episode which took place like 3 years later.
08. How did you become interested in 3?
The commercials - couldn't wait to see it!
09. Who's your favorite actor/actress in 4?
Let's go with Lisa Kudrow - her Phoebe was Phabulous!
10. Which do you prefer: Show 1, 2 or 5?
Well that's not right, how can you pick amongst these three? Prison Break is over, Boomtown lasted one season and Criminal Minds has Shemar Moore. I refuse to choose.
11. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?
1 because 3 is a new show this year
12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?
Phoebe
13. How would you kill off your favorite character in 1?
I wouldn't have killed him off! I could've come up with a story as to what happened in between!
14. Give a random quote from 1.
Lincoln: You’ve seen the blueprints?
Michael: Better than that. [shows his tattoos] I’ve got 'em on me.
15. Which character from 5 would be a good guest star on 2?
Oh without a doubt Penelope Garcia! She would rock over there on Boomtown and I would've liked to have seen a little action between her and Neal McDonough's character, David McNorris.
16. Would a 3/4 crossover work?
Oh I'm sure it would. Monica and Chandler were moving to the 'burbs - would've been a perfect set up to have Mitchell and Cameron as neighbors!
17. Pair 2 characters in 1 that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.
I'll go with T-Bag and Sucre (LOL!!)
18. Has 5 inspired you in any way?
It's inspired me to not kill people - such a violent show. LOL
19. Overall, which show has a better cast, 2 or 4?
Such differences...2 lasted only a year and was an excellent crime drama, whereas 4 lasted what, 10 years? and created some funny funny moments on the show.
20. Which has better theme music, 3 or 5?
Probably 3 since I can hum it in my head right now and 5 has tinkling piano music that sounds like a horror movie about to go bad! LOL
TV Meme - Like Anyone Cares (I care Cal!)
Pick five of your favorite shows, in no particular order, before you read the below questions, then answer them!
1. Prison Break
2. Boomtown
3. Modern Family
4. Friends
5. Criminal Minds
01. Who's your favorite character in 2?
Detective Joel Stevens, played by Donnie Wahlberg.
02. Who's your least favorite character in 1?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell. YIKES! This had to be one of the best rolls of this guy's career (Robert Knepper) because he scared the bejeezus out of me!
03. What's your favorite episode of 4?
The one where Monica tries to make Chandler laugh by putting a turkey on her head. Hysterical! Check out the look on Joey's face when he sees that. I laugh just sitting here thinking of it!
04. What's your favorite season of 5?
Hmmm...I am not a big fan of Mandy Patinkin, so I'll go with the first season that had Joe Montegna as Dave Rossi, season 3.
05. Who is your favorite ship in 1?
Um, don't think there is a ship in #1?
06. Who is your anti-ship in 2?
I'll go with the police car? LOL
07. How long have you watched 1?
Every season, every episode...EXCEPT the DVD 2 hour "bridge" episode which shows what happened between the next to the last episode and the last episode which took place like 3 years later.
08. How did you become interested in 3?
The commercials - couldn't wait to see it!
09. Who's your favorite actor/actress in 4?
Let's go with Lisa Kudrow - her Phoebe was Phabulous!
10. Which do you prefer: Show 1, 2 or 5?
Well that's not right, how can you pick amongst these three? Prison Break is over, Boomtown lasted one season and Criminal Minds has Shemar Moore. I refuse to choose.
11. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?
1 because 3 is a new show this year
12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?
Phoebe
13. How would you kill off your favorite character in 1?
I wouldn't have killed him off! I could've come up with a story as to what happened in between!
14. Give a random quote from 1.
Lincoln: You’ve seen the blueprints?
Michael: Better than that. [shows his tattoos] I’ve got 'em on me.
15. Which character from 5 would be a good guest star on 2?
Oh without a doubt Penelope Garcia! She would rock over there on Boomtown and I would've liked to have seen a little action between her and Neal McDonough's character, David McNorris.
16. Would a 3/4 crossover work?
Oh I'm sure it would. Monica and Chandler were moving to the 'burbs - would've been a perfect set up to have Mitchell and Cameron as neighbors!
17. Pair 2 characters in 1 that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.
I'll go with T-Bag and Sucre (LOL!!)
18. Has 5 inspired you in any way?
It's inspired me to not kill people - such a violent show. LOL
19. Overall, which show has a better cast, 2 or 4?
Such differences...2 lasted only a year and was an excellent crime drama, whereas 4 lasted what, 10 years? and created some funny funny moments on the show.
20. Which has better theme music, 3 or 5?
Probably 3 since I can hum it in my head right now and 5 has tinkling piano music that sounds like a horror movie about to go bad! LOL
Day 27: A picture of where you are from
Now this is interesting...so many choices...but, I'll have to go with this one - yup, that's her on the left! On the right is where the one on the left is from! LOL
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